Making Space for Screen-Free Hangouts

Real strategies from families navigating technology at playdates, parties, and sleepovers

Imagine you’re at a birthday picnic. There’s food on the tables, games on the grass, and a circle of kids . . . all staring at their phones.

One mom told us:

“If we go to a family gathering, eight out of the ten kids have a phone or tablet, and they all gather in a circle. It impacts my kids because they don’t have a phone or tablet. They can’t play this game and feel like the others don’t want to talk to them.”

We all know in-person connection feels better. The problem is—screens are often the default.

You can’t control what every family allows. But you can shape the environment when kids gather in your home.

We asked families how they’re making space for kids to connect without devices. Here’s what’s actually working:

Set expectations before the party starts

Communicating ahead of time helps set the tone and make expectations clear. As one mom shared: “For sleepovers, I’ve texted with parents specifically about their child’s ‘wind down’ routine and then let them know our family’s practice is to dock all devices downstairs. Then, I relay the same message to the child sleeping over.”

Create a “phone drop”

Having a “phone drop”–at night for sleepovers and in a basket for playdates–keeps devices out of sight and out of mind. “When you ask kids to put their phones in a basket, they’re forced to interact with their friends,” one parent said.

Make the real world fun

Excitement and stimulation aren’t only found online. If kids default to screens when they are bored, find ways to enrich life offline. As one parent shared: “[This family] had a jar, and every time the girls were ‘bored,’ they would take a paper out of the jar and do the activity. She had so much fun. They did their nails and made slime. It was a great idea.”

Aim for balance, not perfection

For some kids, gaming is how they connect. In those cases, balance is key: “We make sure they play catch or do something physical for a while before video games.” Multiplayer games can provide a chance to socialize–even with a screen involved.

Make it socially “cool”

The real shift happens when the norm changes. As one mom described a recent sleepover: “I asked [my daughter] what she wanted to do about devices, and she said, ‘I’m not really worried about it because it’s not cool to be on devices at a party.’ It really wasn’t a thing.”

You don’t have to overhaul everything to set a new standard for screen-free hangouts. Start small: a quick text to parents, a basket for phones by the door, a few extra-fun IRL activities.

You might be surprised how quickly kids adjust—and how much they enjoy it.

If you’re trying to make real life more engaging than screens for your kids, start here:

What Gen Z actually likes to do offline
- “It’s a lot easier to add in good things than take out ‘bad’ ones.”

How to stop defaulting to screens while you wait
- We don’t have to default to screens.

One way to build regular, offline connection into the week
- “Want some anti-screen moments? Get into sports.”